47, 48, 49...

November 16, 2016  •  1 Comment

Yep, it's that time again. I am yet another year older tomorrow, which puts me just one year away from being 50. How exciting! No seriously, it is. I am actually looking forward to being 50. Am I looking forward to my first correspondence from AARP? Not really, but that's just a small part of getting older. During my 49 years, I believe I have learned quite a bit. Sure, there is always more to learn and I do acknowledge that. Do you remember being 25 and thinking that you knew everything? Maybe it started at 21. At any rate, I remember those days and boy was I uninformed! It wasn't until I turned 30 that I realized that I didn't know anything! It wasn't devastating, though. It was more of an epiphany, which made me more desirous of learning all that I could. Some things I learned the easy way and some the not so easy way. Psssst....when you can, please take the easy way because the hard way sucks!

Anyway, here are a few things that I have learned over the years that I would like to share. Maybe you already know some of these things or maybe you don't, but I do hope you find them enlightenting.

  1.  No matter how old you get, keep moving. Exercise, walk, stretch, run...do something! As we get older things tend to slow down physically and certain tasks get more difficult. To make sure that you won't need someone to help you get off the toilet in your later years, exercise.
  2. What people think of you has nothing to do with you. Just be the best person you can be and let that tell people who you really are.
  3. Treat people how you want to be treated and if they don't treat you that way, tell them to kick rocks. Sure, people mess up and "try you", but if after correcting them they continue to treat you badly, be like Ray Charles and tell them to "hit the rode, Jack!" 
  4. Choose happiness. No one is happy all of the time, but you definitely shouldn't be sad the majority of the time either. Don't get stuck in a pity party or let your circumstances dictate how you feel. Fight through those times. Do whatever it is you need to do to make it better, but don't let the negative feelings consume you.
  5. If you can't change it, don't stress about it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do what you can to keep it moving. Not everything is going to be as bad as you think and if it is, you'll just have to work through it to make it the best it can be. We have enough stress in our lives without adding anxiety over things that we cannot control.
  6. If you have someone in your life that you can't trust, then they probably don't need to be in your life. Just like those people in item number 3, they too need to kick rocks. At the very least, they should have a limited access pass to your life. We all have at least one family member who fits into this category. You cannot have any good relationship with someone you cannot trust.
  7. If you don't already love yourself, learn how to love yourself. If you don't like something about you, your life, your situation, work to change it because complaining about it will only get on others' nerves.
  8. Everyone does not need to know what you think all the time. Some things are not necessary to share and may cause unintentional stress...for you and them. Now if you're cool with that and something good will come of it, then go at it.
  9. If what you're doing doesn't bring you joy, find something that does.
  10. Do not expect others to make you happy nor allow them to place all of their hopes of happiness on you. That is too big of a burden for anyone. You are in charge of your happiness. (See item #4)
  11. If you really don't want to do something, say you don't want to do it. No need in wasting anyone's time, including yours just to prevent hurting their feelings. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  12. Create memories with your children and spouse. Having a new video game will never be as great as the time you all went camping and laughed all night in front of the campfire. Which do you think your family will remember?
  13. If you heard/read some information about someone, but it will not enrich their life/mood, help them in any way, provide important information or prevent them from harm, then don't tell them. Why spread negative news unless you want a negative outcome?
  14. Surround yourself with people whom you can learn from and really talk to.
  15. Pick your battles carefully. Everything is not worth fighting over. It is up to you to determine what is and is not important enough to pursue. Sometimes turning the other cheek can keep your stress level down. I mean, who really wants to deal with some nonsense?

These are just a few of the things I have learned over the years. Yeah, some of these things I learned in elementary school and others came later in life. There are plenty more, but I didn't want to bore you. Don't worry, I'll probably list some more next year. As you get older, you realize what is and isn't important in life. Age adds a whole new perspective to your life and I think that's really when you start living. Life is short, so make the most of it. I don't necessarily want you to life like you'll die tomorrow because there is no telling what you'd end up doing. Just make sure you're doing what you can to enjoy your life and perhaps prepare for your children's future. We need to make sure that our children have an excellent foundation from which to grow and mature. We should want them to know that they were loved voraciously by us. That every day matters and that they matter. Our partners, spouses and family should know how much they are loved as well. Close friends should not have to wonder how you really felt about them. Don't just make a living, make a life.

I hope my words were able to bless someone. If you have any words of wisdom that you have learned, I'd love to read them. I'm sure others would like to read them as well. It's fine to grow by yourself, but so much more fun to grow with others. Oh, if you did enjoy this, please share with others you know who may benefit from it. With that said, I will leave you with this last gem. Always try to leave a person or place better off than you found them/it.  What I love to do is when I'm out and I see someone who seems to not be enjoying their day, I try to make them smile by simply being pleasant or giving them a genuine compliment. The emphasis is on genuine. 


Shae Holley(non-registered)
Great wisdom, Ayesha!! We can always see where we could have used what we know now 20 years ago. Love your attitude and openness :)
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