Adulting vs. Pareting

March 15, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

Just the other day I was thinking about which is more difficult, adulting or parenting? As you probably know, adulting is the new word being used to represent being a responsible adult and doing things responsible adults do. For instance, having a job, paying your bills, providing dinner to yourself and perhaps others... you know, taking care of yourself.

You may be wondering why was I thinking about this. And then again, you may not really care, but I'd like you to read on anyway. Perhaps it will be interesting or something you can actually relate to. If not, well at least it wasn't a silly cat video that you wasted your time on. What prompted my thought process on this was when I was spending time with my son. In this instance, when I say spending time with my son, I mean lecturing him on his work ethic or should I say the lack thereof. My son is 11 years old in the 6th grade at a magnet school no less, and he doesn't always work up to his full potential. He also doesn't manage his time well either. So, if you put those two things together you get unnecessary frustration.  Basically my son is lazy and would rather play than do his work. I know I am not alone in this. This was the chance I knew I was taking when I prayed for a boy. In case you're wondering, I have nothing against little girls. I just figured my husband would be satisfied if we had a son; thereby not asking for additional children. Hey, I love children, but I do know my limits and raising one child was my limit. Also, I really didn't want to have to do hair. My side of the family has lots of girls with lots of hair and I just didn't want to sign up for that. Heck, I didn't like doing my hair, that's why I cut it.

Getting back to my musings...it's funny how little things make you think about things like this. I must admit that adulting has gotten a little bit easier as I've gotten older. Perhaps it's because I am older and have learned what I should and shouldn't do and how those things should or shouldn't be done. Perhaps I have figured out what is and isn't important in the grand scheme of things. It's probably a combination of all of that, plus now I have someone to share these adulting commitments with, which does lighten the load.  Don't get me wrong, it can still be challenging. Life happens and you're looking around saying WTH? After you get over the shock, you deal with it the best you can.

As for parenting...that is truly challenging. Here you are responsible for totally taking care of this little person. They depend on you for everything and I do mean everything. Then they get older and start to depend on you less and less, but they start to get on your nerves more and more. From what I understand, middle school is just the beginning. I'm dealing with hormones that are not mine, an attitude that isn't mine and irrational logic that certainly isn't mine. I remember when I could tell my son to do something and there would be no talking back or asking questions, he'd just do it. Now, for some reason he thinks he knows better than me. Being the kind of parent that I am, I will provide him with what I feel to be helpful information to assist him in completing his tasks. Most of the time he chooses not to follow my lead. After I have offered my suggestions, I will tell him the result of said suggestion. I will also tell him the result of not following said suggestion. If he decides to not follow my suggestion, he will suffer the consequences. I want him to feel comfortable enough to make up his mind and decide what he thinks is best, that's why I let him fail sometimes. It's hard to watch him fail, but how else is he going to learn? I think that's the hardest part of parenting for me.

In summary, I think both are equally difficult. The difference is that adulting gets easier as you get older (for some) and parenting gets harder as your child(ren) get older. Or is it that letting go is harder? Hmmm....now that's something to ponder, but not now. What I have learned is the only person I  can truly control is myself. We have so much invested in our children and we want them to succeed so badly that we will do whatever it takes, even trying to tell the what to do. Sometimes it takes tough love and sometimes it takes restraint. Let's just say I don't want any mugshots taken of me. We have to know when to hold on and when to let go. I believe parenting is an extension of adulting. In order to be a good parent, I think you also need to be a good adult. By the way, if you want to find some cute quotes about adulting, Google the phrase "adulting quotes". Hope to see you back here next week. Same bat time, same bat channel. Please tell me there are some of you that have the slightest idea of what I'm talking about.

 

 

 


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