To all the daddies

June 21, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

I know, I know...Father's Day was Sunday. Considering my blog comes out every Wednesday (10:00 a.m. like clockwork) I will forever be early or late when it comes to special days that always happen on a Sunday. Nevertheless, I will still talk about and celebrate these days, early or late. As I stated before, Father's Day was this past Sunday and it's a wonderful thing, but I don't think it's accurate. Let me explain.

As background, the first Father's Day celebration was held on June 19, 1910 in Seattle, Washington. It was actually made into a holiday by President Richard Nixon in 1972. If you wish to learn more about the history of Father's Day because it is that interesting or you're just curious, click here. Getting back on track...I think Father's Day should be Daddy's Day. Some people may think it's just semantics and it very well could be, but I feel it's something deeper. To me, being a father means having the ability to procreate. To me, being a daddy is a bit deeper. Everyone on this earth has a father because that's how it works, (please don't bring up cloning because procreation was not meant to be that way) but not everyone has a daddy. 

I'm not sure if I shared this with you all before, but my father and I weren't always close. When I was a child, he actually made me nervous. He would ask me existential or philosophical questions. And when I say I was a child, I was about 5. At that time I didn't realize that I could say "I don't know" or "I have never thought about that". For some reason I thought my dad knew everything and since I was his child I too, was supposed to know everything. So instead of having to face his questions when he came home, I would leave the room. My older sister told me that for the longest my dad thought I didn't like him. After my parents got divorced I didn't see him much, except on some weekends. I didn't really get to know him and he, me, until I was in college. At that point we could really talk about anything and I do mean anything. To this day we talk, maybe not everyday, but we definitely talk and I no longer leave the room when he enters. In fact, I go visit him on purpose! I used to have a father, but now I have a daddy. Below is an image of my dad before he walked me down the aisle at my wedding. (Photo credit: McWhorter Photography) The picture on the right is his constant state of laughter. This was taken on New Year's Day a few years ago. Yes, I know we need some updated pictures. 

Growing up he probably wasn't the best father, but he was the best father he could be at the time. He, like everyone else made mistakes. I can't fault him for being human. Even though I couldn't appreciate him as a child, I can definitely appreciate him as an adult. Do I agree with everything he says and does? Of course not! When I think he steps out of line, I politely voice my opinion about it and we move on from there. I believe we have a mutual respect for one another and I truly enjoy that. I feel blessed to still have him with me and realize that I need to take advantage of that more often. 

My husband is a wonderful daddy too. He can be a little rough around the edges sometimes, but he means well. He's very honest, an excellent protector and provider. He's funny, serious, intelligent, loving, thoughtful and has street knowledge. If you don't know him, you'd think that he was stern and extremely quiet. My favorite story to tell about him and his even-keeledness is at our wedding. My father notices Steve waiting at the front of the chapel before my big entrance and says "Steve looks really nervous." That's when one of Steve's cousins pipes up and says "How can you tell? He only has one emotion!" And we all cracked up laughing. Hopefully that helps convey my husband's normal state of being. He plays with our son and teaches him "man things" and about life. He also makes him get up and do things and be responsible because we don't plan on raising a lazy child. One day he will be someone's husband and we plan on him being an excellent one, plus an excellent human-being as well. Prior to my getting pregnant I found out that my husband had never even held a baby before we had our son. Needless to say I was a bit surprised, considering he has a niece and nephew, along with little cousins. In fact, we had discussions where I told him in no uncertain terms that he was holding his child! As you can see, he did and continued to do so. One thing he really didn't like, besides changing his diaper, was taking him anywhere because he hated having to take the dreaded diaper bag with him. This image was taken minutes after he was born and no, I don't believe I was the one who took it.

father and son father and son portraits

father and son father and son portraits father and son

Yes, I know...we need updated family pictures too since my son is now 12! We're working on those too. Anyway, to reiterate my point, my father and my husband are both fathers and daddies. Being a daddy doesn't mean being perfect, it means being there. Being present and in the moment. It means letting your child know that you love, care for and protect them. 

As you all know, I have an affinity for daddies and their children. It warms my heart so to see men being so loving and attentive to their children. Many of my favorite images are those I've captured with daddies and babies. I guess the nomenclature isn't all that important. What is important is the love and trust that is developed between a parent and their child(ren). Capturing that love and trust is one of my most prized gifts. If you know of any daddies wanting to have beautiful portraits with their child(ren), I do hope you'd send them my way because it would be my honor.

 

 


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